I guess I should start from the very, very beginning. When I first realized I was pregnant with Zak I was really very happy; as a matter of fact just as happy as I was when I found out I was pregnant with his two older brothers, Troy & Derek. But I had complications with this pregnancy from the very beginning and had to go to the emergency room. When I was at the emergency room they told me that yes, I was pregnant however I was going to miscarry this baby, they gave me a paper and sent me home and told me to prepare myself. NO.I was not going to lose this baby, no way!!! No matter what they told me I knew deep down inside that I would carry this baby till the time he was to be born into the world. The rest of my waiting for Zak to be born was very scary but I was bound and determine not to lose him..and we could have lost him very, very many times BUT 11/19/84 finally came around and a beautiful, beautiful baby boy came into the world and we named him Zachary(Zak) Joseph Piekarski. He was an absolute joy from the very first moment I laid my eyes on him and he was completely perfect

Each time one of my boys were born I looked into those Beautiful ANGELEYES and I fell in love again!! Birth and NOW Death have been such a mystery to me; each so very bittersweet; each moments that I will never forget in Zak's exceptional journey. A journey that began with love and ended with love; a love that will transcend all space & time. I feel so very honored that God chose me to be Zak's Mom. I just wish that I would have been given more time; Oh how very selfish of me huh?

Zak grew and grew, every time we would take Zak for a check-up he would always be "off of the growth charts". He was a pleasant baby and toddler and his brothers just loved him very much. Everyone knew when the Piekarski Boys went anywhere. Usually the three brothers were dressed a lot alike I even used to "spike" their hair for a year or so....so that hair grooming thing started at a very young age for anyone that was wondering . Zak was the ultimate "GhostBuster" for quite a few years my Mom made him his own "GhostBuster" uniform and Zak used to wear it ALL OF THE TIME. He would wake up in the morning and put his clothes on and put his "GhostBuster" uniform right over his clothes and be a "GhostBuster" all day long. We bought him the tape of the 1st movie and he would watch it over, and over again till he could recite the lines one after the other. I became quite concerned and actually called his Pediatrician and asked if that was a normal thing!!!!!!! He told us just to let him alone and eventually he would grow out of it.

Zak went to Kindergarten and I will never forget just how much taller and generally bigger Zak was then all the other kids. I'll never forget being at Kindergarten for some party and there was Zak standing next to one of his little friend and I mean little. Poor Zak looked liked he was 2 years older than everyone else...and for a while in his life it stayed like that. Then puberty set in and the boys and the girls started to get just as tall as Zak. But there was always one continuous thing in his whole life from the time he was crawling till the time he drove a car, it was his love for Basketball.

Zak's love for basketball came from his Dad. There were always basketballs around our house everywhere..we even put up a basketball hoop outside and a light so they all could play any time they wanted to play day or night. Zak's love for basketball was always growing just like he was; Zak's Dad was always a very talented basketball player and I guess it was just a genetic thing with Zak. Heck, I would even get into the basketball thing even though I wasn't very good at all; it was just really a fun thing to do as a family.

Zak played soccer, football, baseball, and basketball and tried various other sports heck in football (The Shaler Cubs) Zak was so fast that he would make the kick-off and run down the field to make the tackle. It was such an amazing thing to watch..Zak's intensity. Zak pushed himself always to the point of his physical limits; he always maxed himself out. I believe he did it for the pure pleasure of seeing if he could do it...always pushing everything to the limit. He pushed it a lot to the limits with me, his Mom many times. Sometimes he was successful and sometimes to his dismay he was not. Zak had the uncanny way of always trying to get EVERYTHING that he wanted; no matter what!!!!!!!!!

Zak would say, "Hey Mom, Johnny did that or didn't so that soooooooo"....and I would always come back with the "Hey Zak, I don't care what Johnny did or didn't do, Did you try your personal best?????" If you didn't try then you cheated YOURSELF, no one else cause you know what Johnny doesn't give a Dam@ what you did or didn't do. Thinking back on Zak's life in general I really believe that what I taught him really finally did get through to his heart. Yep sure I'll admit, and so will his coaches admit Zak had a way of getting on your nerves at times but Zak also had a way of getting to your heart a lot too!!!

Zak had a style, a definite style of all of his own!!!!!!!! There were times when he would wear two completely, totally different shoes.I mean color, style and everything, hey how about those knee socks he wore in basketball?. Not many of the other players wore knee socks like Zak. Over the last two years his hair color changed indiscriminately...at his whim. I take credit for that, I change my hair color a lot too. Hey other Mom's pick out pierced earrings, hair colors, flavored chapped stick, jewelry and such with their daughters, I got to do stuff like that with Zak!!!!!! I loved it; I always strived to let my sons celebrate their selves. To find out the mysteries about anything that they wanted; within limits. But limits were something that Zak loved to go beyond...he always wanted to push all the limits.

To describe Zak's zest for life is something almost impossible to do, but I'll try. When my boys were growing up I always strived to help them to believe in themselves. I always would do a little chant with them and to be honest with you we would say it every day before they went to school It was

1) Do my best no matter anything I do
2) Be a happy boy
3) I'm #1.
I truly believe that Zak really believed these words and they found their way into his heart & soul.

I could probably go on and on and list just so many occurrences, Zak had just a certain way about himself; he usually knew what to say just at the right time. When I was a single Mom, Zak would sometimes be able to give me the spark that I needed to go on when some of the darkest and loneliest days came around. I'm sure if it would not have been for my three Sons I'm not sure what would have happened to me. My boys gave me a reason to live; my boys were all that I had to live for for quite a long time. It was hard for Zak to let another man into my life no matter what he would say, but I truly hope with my heart and soul that Zak was happy for me on 2/24/01 when I married a wonderful, loving man named Art.

Zak was such an Energy it was as if he knew what was going to happen to him and he filled a lifetime of experiences into 16 ¾ years of life. What a gift God bestowed upon me, what three beautiful gifts Troy, Derek & Zak always were to me. Gifts are not possessions and that is one of the hardest lessons in life to learn. The last 10 months of Zak's life he chose to live full time with his Dad and those 10 months were some of the most wonderful for me (because of a new man in my life) but yet the hardest days of my life. To learn separation from your children is another very hard lesson to learn; it was a lesson for me that was to be vital to my existence and sanity. For me, I know in my heart & soul that during those 10 months God and the Angels were getting me ready for 9/16/01. I'm still not sure that I'll ever be ready for Zak's death��maybe 9/16/01 is just a dream or better to say a nightmare from which I haven't woke up yet from??? If it is a nightmare, please God and Angels let me wake up right now.

My husband Art and myself were at the fire. My Son Troy called us and we hurried over to the house. I can't ever explain to anyone just all of the emotions that were surging throughout my body when I stood there trying to really comprehend just what was really going on and what I was being a witness to. I wanted to run into the fire to try and save my child but I couldn't. I felt so very helpless and I was so afraid that he was in pain and I was soooo very frightened. Zak's life was running through my mind like a high-speed film; memories were bombarding me from every direction. I was feeling so many emotions at one time, I was so very worried about Troy because he looked as if he was in shock and I didn't know how to help him. I didn't know where Derek was but was reassured that he was not in the fire. I was waiting for Zak to come up behind me and comfort me and tell me that it was all a mistake and he was not in that fire, up in that bedroom, right behind that window that I was staring at.

The Police and Fireman were all trying their very best but there was nothing at all that they could do.. A police officer explained to me what was going to happen and advised me not to be there when they took Zak's body down from his room. I COULD NOT LEAVE, I HAD TO WATCH THEM TAKE ZAK'S BODY DOWN FROM THAT ROOM, THE ROOM IN WHICH HE LEFT ME FOREVER I had to be strong and wait till they took Zak away no matter what. I was there when Zak came into the world and I was going to be there when they took Zak's body away.

In my mind I actually could comprehend what was happening, but my heart was breaking and my womb in which I carried Zak hurt really bad. I had a deep ache inside of my body, an ache that will never go away.

Zak you were a High Honor Student..A Phenom Basketball Player, caring person to handicapable people, hardy laugher,a loud screamer..sometimes a whiner..a back-scratching needy person, person who told us you loved us..great friend to someone in need, snappy dresser, fashion designer, clothes critiquer, a artist, a Hooper and an absolutely wonderful Son.

I'll never forget my Grandma, she died just 2 months or so after Zak was born and when Zak went to heaven she came down to earth to help him find his way to be with God. Zak I know you are an incredible Angel of God with wings of gold.. helping all of the young people to find their way. God took you to be home with him, so you could be a great helper to him. I know that basketball game up there in heaven is full of excitement now that you are up there but remember not to yell at your Coach or the Refs I'm sure that the Pearly Gates will never be the same with you there. God is so lucky to have you..but I truly thank him for the time he let me have you as my Son.

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